Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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