ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
