I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize