I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
