Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
