so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
