I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
