he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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