after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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