maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
