idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
