Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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