I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize