So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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