You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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