her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
