i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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