then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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