He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
