For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
