shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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