When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think a kid would responsible me up
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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