P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
how does that bad decision feel?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize