just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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