Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize