It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
