You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
