Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
