And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
