I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
