As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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