Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
