Sry I called you an 8
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
