Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This is the high leading the old right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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