in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I lost the right to judge tonight
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
