it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize