Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
