are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
