How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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