You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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