it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
