Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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