their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize