I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize