Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
