Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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