You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
