id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
