I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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