I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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