i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
