it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
