One girl and one boy is just not enough.
id be glad to
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
