What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
