is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
