If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
