Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
