I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
