Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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