Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will be naked everywhere
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
