Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i believe in u and ur pee
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
