She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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