I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize