His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
