Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize