everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
